Don't Know Why
by thepursuitofhappiness
Summary: Emily and Naomi struggle to keep their relationship hidden. Set before Season 4. Set to Norah Jones song "Don't Know Why"


**Author's Note:** This might just be a one-shot, but if there is enough of a response I'll definitely consider making it a series. The song in this story is "Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones. If I decide to add additional chapters, I will continue to incorporate part of these lyrics as the foundation for each chapter.

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><p>As Naomi stood beneath the warm stream of water, tears began to fall from her eyes. These breakdowns in the shower had become a ritual as of lately. Every development and step forward in her relationship with Emily seemed to end with the blonde in tears. Naomi couldn't help feeling scared, but she knew the way she was treating Emily wasn't right either.<p>

Emily had been nothing but patient with Naomi. There had been several occasions on which Naomi had deserted Emily while the redhead pleaded and begged for her to stay. Each time that Naomi had walked away, she had left a broken and crumpled Emily all alone. It really wasn't personal. Naomi did love her. She had loved Emily since they were twelve-years-old.

As Naomi tried to come to terms with their relationship—accept that she is interested in girls—she seemed to constantly hurt the one person that meant more to her than anyone else. But Emily never held it against her. She always understood.

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><p><em><strong>I waited 'til I saw the sun<strong>_

_**I don't know why I didn't come **_

_**I left you by the house of fun **_

_**I don't know why I didn't come**_

"One more ride?" Emily more demanded than asked. Before Naomi had the chance to answer she was being led in the direction of the Ferris wheel that was situated near the back of their small town fair.

This was one of the first times they had really gone out in public _together_. Even though Emily knew Naomi was uncomfortable making their relationship public, she had been persistent that they go to the fair together.

"Emily," there was a noticeable hesitation in Naomi's voice, as they stood in front of the ride's entrance. "I'm afraid of heights."

Emily couldn't stop the giggle that immediately escaped her mouth. Naomi was one of the most outspoken and confident students in their class at Roundview College, but she was afraid of riding the Ferris wheel? Who would've guessed?

Emily immediately regretted her reaction as she watched the expression on Naomi's face drop in obvious embarrassment. "Look it's not even that high," Emily gently told her. Although Naomi appreciated her efforts, Emily's soft words of encouragement did little to calm her nerves. When the fear failed to dissipate from behind Naomi's magnetic blue gaze, Emily decided it was probably best to just drop the idea.

"It's okay, Naomi. We should probably head home anyways. It's getting late."

Naomi knew the fair was important to Emily, which is why she agreed to come in the first place. She could remember a presentation Emily gave in class when they were both around the age of thirteen. The assignment was dull and entirely forgettable, but Emily's presentation was engrained in Naomi's memory. It was one of the first times she had really heard Emily talk. Her sister Katie usually dominated and controlled their conversations and social interactions, which left Emily largely unnoticed. But Naomi noticed her. The presentation was on family and traditions, and Emily chose to share her family's tradition of attending the town fair each year. The Fitch family had gone to the fair every year since the Katie and Emily were toddlers. As the redhead had first stood before the class, she had kept her eyes fixed on the ground beneath her feet. However within a couple of minutes Emily's confidence visibly rose, and by the end of the presentation she was playfully engaging the entire class in discussion. That was the first time Naomi admitted to herself that she had feelings for another girl. Not just any girl, but Emily Fitch.

"Naomi? Emily?" Naomi knew that voice. The sudden presence of Effy and Cook pulled Naomi from her thoughts. She knew her friends would demand an explanation for Emily's presence. After all, Emily did allow the entire school to falsely believe that Naomi had kissed her at a party when they were younger. Naomi was taunted in the halls and teased; at the time there was a part of her that really did resent the redhead. No one knew that it was actually Emily who instigated the kiss. Naomi watched as Effy and Cook walked towards her, and she suddenly felt trapped. She knew how protective her friends could be. They didn't know that the reason those rumors bothered Naomi so much was because there was actually truth in them. They didn't know that Naomi had long-forgiven Emily for the incident. Naomi became increasingly anxious as the space between her and the couple became constantly smaller.

"Where's my favorite twin?" Cook laughed at his own comment, and a wide grin spread across his face. "I've made it a personal goal to have a threesome with the Fitch Twins." Seemingly oblivious to his girlfriend's annoyance, Cook continued to find humor in the awkward interaction. "I guess that will have to wait for another day."

"Wanker," Naomi said, as she rolled her eyes at his immaturity. Naomi was one of the few people that didn't put up with Cook's shit. Despite the insult she hurled at him, there was a sense of playfulness in Naomi's tone. That trademark Cook grin never once left his face. He knew Naomi could never stay mad at him for longer than a minute. The two were an unlikely pair, but their friendship just worked. There was such a level of comfort between the two of them, and even Emily noticed that Naomi was visibly becoming less anxious as she talked to Cook. Emily watched as Naomi let out a carefree laugh and playfully pushed Cook away, and she couldn't help but smile.

Just when Naomi had seemed to lighten up and relax the light moment regained its original tension as Effy asked the question that Naomi had most hoped to avoid.

"Why are you here with _her_?" Effy questioned; her tone was cold and bitter. Naomi could see that Effy's words had hurt Emily. The way Effy dragged out the word her at the end of her question made Emily acutely self-conscious. Naomi wanted to defend Emily or at least tell Effy off. The couple waited for her answer, and Naomi became noticeably flustered. Emily didn't expect Naomi to acknowledge their relationship. She knew that Naomi needed more time. Still, she never expected Naomi's response.

"She just followed me over here," Naomi assured them, never once making eye-contact with the redhead that stood beside her. Naomi had never felt so ashamed of her words. She wanted to apologize to Emily right there and then, but now she felt trapped in her lie.

"We're on our way to a party. Come get fucked up with us." Cook had clearly grown bored of their little interaction. The way he avoided Emily's gaze made it clear the invitation was only directed towards the blonde. She waited for Naomi to say something—_anything_.

After a few seconds Cook wrapped one arm around Naomi and the other around Effy, and guided them towards the nearest exit. Emily didn't even try to stop him. As Emily watched them walk away, she saw Naomi look over her shoulder with an expression of pure remorse and humiliation. Without words, her eyes were able to convey her plea for forgiveness, for understanding. Emily was the first to look away. The tears stung behind her eyes, and she willed herself to not let them fall while Naomi could still see.

As soon as the trio was no longer in her view, Emily sat down on the steps leading to the House of Fun. More than anything she didn't want to cry; she wasn't even sure if Naomi was still worth her tears. For a few minutes she sat with her face hidden between her crossed arms. She tried to think of something else, anything else. Emily couldn't forget the look on Naomi's face as she had walked off. Eventually, she couldn't fight it any longer. The tears spilled from her eyes, leaving barely visible trails down each cheek.

She knew Naomi wouldn't come back for her. She tried to compose herself, but the tears continued to stream down her face. She had come to the fair with her girlfriend and within the span of a few minutes she had been left alone.

Emily reached in her pocket, and quickly flipped open her phone. Her tears blurred the writing on the screen. She attempted to write a text to Naomi, but in the middle of writing it her phone vibrated in her hands. On the screen it read _New Text Message_, and slightly above that: _Naomi Campbell._

_Ems. Meet me at our spot around 1 AM. ~N_

She glanced at the time, 11:56 PM. Part of her wanted to ignore the text. Instead Emily wiped the tears from her face using the sleeve of her oversized sweatshirt, and then quickly typed out a response to Naomi's text.

_Okay. See you then. ~E_

As she flipped her phone closed, she set off for their spot overlooking the lake unsure of what awaited her.


End file.
